Lawyers, Love & Legalese - More Legal Valentines

This February 14, forgo the box of chocolates, say sayonara to the roses and no thanks to the exorbitant price fixe meal… and embrace your inner dork with these cheeky, at times too close to home, legal valentines. Part deux.  

You can read part one here

Infinite Retention

While defensible deletion after a limited retention period is a much safer approach for most law firms and legal service providers, when it comes to matters of the heart infinite might be the right period!

I want to (legal) hold your hand

Perhaps not quite as endearing a concept, but no less critical to protecting the heart and ESI of your Valentine or your law office!

Easement to my Heart

An easement can come in four flavors, easement by necessity, easement by prescription, easement by condemnation, and party easement. But when it comes to matters of the heart it is always an easement of necessity!

[REDACTED]

Whether this valentine is privileged and confidential, attorney work products or simply nonresponsive to the recipients, the fact remains that we may never know what was really stated! (So long as the redaction was burned on!)

Supreme Courtship at its Finest

What better way to describe your courting than with the highest court in the land by comparison!

Rocket my Docket

The speed of case disposition in a rocket docket is enough to get anyone's heart beating faster! Looking at you Eastern District of Texas, Northern District of California, Southern District of California, Northern District of Georgia, and Western District of Wisconsin.

You sir are GUILTY!

Guilty of stealing my heart… ok we are now veering into the realm of Dad jokes, but I liked the graphic here, so you are stuck with it!

Be [contractually] mine

What better way to say I love you in legalese than asking to keep your valentine on retainer! What says love more than a binding contractual obligation with consideration.

Lock me up!

There is proof beyond a reasonable doubt that this Valentine sender is guilty and deserves the be sentenced to the full metaphorical letter of the law!

Love & Rule 26

In the Federal Rules of Evidence, there is an affirmative duty to disclose all critical aspects of a case and what could be more central than matters of the heart?!